In my childhood I used to go early in the morning to the river. It is a small village. The river is very very lazy, as if not flowing at all. And in the morning when the sun has not yet risen, you cannot see whether it is flowing,it is so lazy and silent. And in the morning when there is nobody, the bathers have not come yet,  it is tremendously silent. Even the birds are not singing in the morning- early, no sound, just a sound-lessness pervades. And the smell of the Linden trees hangs all over the river. 

I used to go go there, to the furthest corner of the river, just to sit, just to be there. There was no need to do anything, just being there was enough, it was such a beautiful experience to be there. I will take a bath, I will swim, and when the sun will rise I will go to the other shore, to the vast expanse of the sand and dry myself there under the sun, and lie there and sometimes even go to sleep.

When I come back my mother used to ask:  “what have you being doing the whole morning?” I will say: “nothing”, because , actually, I had not been doing anything. And she will say: “ how is it possible? Four hours you have not been here, how is it possible that you have not been doing anything? You must have been doing something.” And she was right, but I was also not wrong.

I was not doing anything at all. I was just being there with the river, not doing anything, allowing things to happen. If it FELT like swimming, I would swim, but that was not a doing on my part, I was not forcing anything. If I felt like going into sleep, I would go.

Things were happening, but there was no doer. And my first experiences of satori started near that river: not doing anything, simply being there, millions of things happened.

But she would insist: “ you must been doing something.” So i would say: “Okay, I took a bath and I dried myself in the sun” , and then she was satisfied, or angry. But I was not, because what happened there in the river is not expressed by words: “I took a bath”- it looks so poor and pale. Playing with the river, floating in the river, swimming in the river, was such a deep experience.